The Moguls

DAVENPOE:

You know that guy you hear in the video store or in line at the movies who’s always talking a little louder than everybody else?  Who thinks his opinion on whatever inane thing he’s obviously been spending his free time thinking about is not only absolutely infallible and absolutely correct but absolutely the only one that matters?

The film school grad? The guy who wrote a RIDICULOUS set of action movies in the early 90’s that no one saw but still manages to work them into conversation whenever possible to this day?

The guy who always ruins your favorite TV shows and/or films by pointing out flaws that are so far removed from the audience experience that no one could possibly gather enough enthusiasm to give a rip even if they WERE so inclined – which they’re not?  Ever.

The kind of guy about whom you just can’t help but think “if you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?”

Yeah, that’s me.  Davenpoe.  Pleasetameetcha.  And yes, I too wonder why I’m not rich.

Now, about “Extreme Force” starring international action star Hector Echavarria…

VOODREW:

Voodrew is a troubled young man.  When you love movies as much as this idiot,… the time spent watching movies that suck becomes a personal affront.

A deep personal slight.

Voodrew has spent the last 12 years creating art for video games for many many companies, including  Disney, Pixar, Nickelodeon and Miramax …and Voodrew knows from CG effects in movies. Don’t even try to pass off horrible special effects and pretend it doesn’t upset people, because it does.

Knowing how many hands that decisions have to pass through to make it to the big screen, should minimize the amount of bad ones in his opinion. They don’t though, and he will tell you.

Voodrew loves movies that are smarter than they appear to be, movies that have 50 layers that reveal themselves upon multiple watchings… and movies about things that are ugly but have a big heart.

Voodrew also loves Jesus and has a restraining order against Corey Feldman.

BEAUMALOE:

The first movie I saw in the theater was a matinee showing of “Coalminer’s Daughter” in auditorium one at the Pasco Twin Theater in Dade City, FL.  The film starred the always-impeccable Sissy Spacek as the struggling, poor-as-dirt singer Loretta Lynn.  That afternoon at the cinema was a life-altering moment for this reviewer, as that was the very day I became a life-long fan of… country-western music!

It wasn’t until my brothers and I watched “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” literally every day of the summer that I realized I loved movies.  And not until I saw Tim Burton’s “Batman” a whopping 13 times in the theater that I was certain I wanted to make them one day.  Now some 10 years (read: 21 years) later, that day has come and I can rest on my laurels, and give myself a hardy handshake, having produced a few movies that ended up on DVD after film school.

But I’ve learned that when you make a movie that ends up on DVD, you don’t want to rest on laurels.  You want to keep trying! You want to come up with the great American movie! You want to make something that will appeal to the masses, not just the folks who watch late-night cable.  You want to tap into that part of the collective consciousness that jettisons a farm boy from a long long time ago into hero with his own lunchbox. You spend countless hours trying to come up with memorable scenes like a horse head in the bed, or a teenage boy bedding his apple pie!  You want them to “Like me!” to “Really like me!” (Exhale)

So.  I’m still trying, and I produce the occasional short, I DP the occasional Indie Film, and I teach at the occasional film school.  And in between, I try to make sense of what Hollywood is doing nowadays.  I wonder what movies are being watched every single day of the summer this year.

(Sigh) It’s prolly “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”

HOTHUMBLEPIE

What qualifies me to critique Hollywood from the comfort of my own comfy armchair, you ask? My mom used to call it fibbing. My husband calls it exaggerating. My kids call it story-telling…and so do I. There’s not much better in life than a well-told story. I aspire to tell good ones…the kind you remember…the kind that become part of you. Sometimes Hollywood gets it right…and a lot of times they don’t. I am by no means a television or movie expert, but I do know what I like. I know people. I know stories.

A few of my favorites?

(tv) The Office, Arrested Development, Pushing Daisies, Scrubs, Felicity.

(movies) The Quiet Man, The Incredibles, Ben Hur, Big Fish, Groundhog Day, Stranger than Fiction, Pride and Prejudice, Dan in Real Life, Juno, the LOTR trilogy.

(books) The Bible, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Shack, Where the Wild Things Are, Redeeming Love, The Circle trilogy, Oh! The Places You’ll Go, the LOTR books, anything by CS Lewis, Francine Rivers, Frank Peretti, JRR Tolkien, Ted Dekker, Dr Seuss or God.

See you at the ottoman…!