The 2013 Armchair Hottie Awards!

Voodrew December 12, 2013 0


As we say goodbye to 2013, we must reflect and pay homage to the players in the entertainment industry that made our hearts go aflutter.

Of COURSE they are talented, of COURSE they are smart …and stuff… but they are definitely not hard on the eyes either.

The fine folks here at Armchair Mogul (and friends) took a vote, and we picked the ten celebs that made us watch just a little bit longer this year!

So sit back and feast your eyes on OUR picks, in our Fourth Annual Armchair Hottie Awards: Top Ten of 2013! GET IT ON!

Jennifer Love Hewitt

We’re kicking this year off right, with The Client List’s ‘Hottie in Chief…’

Jennifer Love Hewitt Sexy

Yes, the show may have gotten cancelled this year after disagreements between show’s star and its producers, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the ample eye candy that came with its campaign!

Jennifer Love Hewitt Sexy White

We don’t know how the hotel staff was able to get those bed sheets to do that, but it feels like a harassment suit waiting to happen.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Hot

Sometimes, when you stare into the void, the void stares back. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, the void is only wearing her underpants.

I’ll just leave this here.

Fun Fact: Hewitt was almost cast opposite DiCaprio as Juliet in 1996’s Romeo + Juliet, but at the last moment, she lost the part to Claire Danes because the director felt she was not “modern” enough. We think she’s just fine thank you very much.

Tom Hiddleston

The God of Mischief who made a billion geek hearts swoon this year HAD to be on our list…

Tom Hiddleston Sexy

Last year, it took nothing short of a Hulk-smash to take this guy down and this year he managed to steal the show from Thor from his own movie!

Tom Hiddleston Hot

One thing we love about Tommy H. is the sincerity he shows on and off screen. Here’s a guy who takes his job seriously, even if that job entails playing a bad guy in a super hero movie. And he’s always got time to share with a fan. What’s hotter than that?

Tom Hiddleston Sexy Loki

And he’s great with kids too!

Fun Fact: Hiddleston screen-tested for the role of Thor. He went on a strict diet and gained 20 pounds in muscle. However, Kenneth Branagh decided he was more suitable for the role of Loki. Thank you Kenneth.

Emilia Clarke

Game of Thrones‘ Daenerys Targaryen has gone from submissive slave to utter badassery this year, and it was HOT!

Emilia Clarke Sexy

The news just dropped that our lovely Emilia will be playing Sarah Conner in the Terminator sequel/reboot/remake/prequel trilogy.

Emilia Clarke Sexy BW

If being the very definition of a raven-hired beauty wasn’t enough, she also sings, plays piano, the flute and guitar. You know what they say about girls who play the guitar…! Nothing? Oh. Well they should, cuz it seems pretty hot to us.

Premiere Of HBO's "Game Of Thrones" Season 3 - Arrivals

Take a moment and watch the ‘Mother of Dragons’ kick all kinds of medieval booty.

Fun Fact: Clarke has said that if she weren’t an actress, she would be an architect or a graphic designer.

Charlie Hunnam

Sons of Anarchy and Pacific Rim‘s Charlie Hunnam set many heart aflutter this year…

Charlie Hunnam Sexy

Charlie is set to star in a horror movie with fellow Armchair Hottie Tom Hiddleston next year! The hardest part of writing this article was actually finding a picture of Hunnam with his shirt on. Don’t worry, he will have it off again in just a moment.

Charlie Hunnam Hot

Here you go. Sorry about that.

Charlie Hunnam Oiled

Early casting rumors have put this sexpot as the lead contender for Aquaman. What do you think? Can he be the one to actually make Aquaman cool?

Charlie Hunnam Sexy Window

Fun Fact: For the film ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall,’ Jason Segel wrote the role of Aldous Snow with him in mind, but he dropped out due to not feeling the project was right for him. Russell Brand ended up getting the role.

Lauren Cohan

The farmer’s daughter on The Walking Dead has made us a little more excited to watch this year…

Lauren Cohan Sexy

Here she is, looking at us as if you say, “You’re not going to put this on the Internet, are you? You know all my bras are in the wash…!” But what can we say? The Internet must be obeyed.

Lauren Cohan Sexy Legs

You know you’re dealing with some hotness when even “mom-shorts” start looking appealing…! Now get off that floor, it’s filthy! Here, rub some Purell on your hiney.

Lauren Cohan Long Hair Short Hair Sexy

If you combine these two photos together, you’ve almost got a whole outfit. But who’d want to?

Fun Fact: Cohan made her film debut ‘Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj” You remember that movie, right? No? Us either.

Hugh Jackman

Between singing in “Les Mis”, slicing up bad guys in “The Wolverine” and garnering Oscar buzz in “Prisoners” we’d say Mr. Jackman’s basically got it all covered in terms of leading man material. Now if only he was insanely nice, physically jacked up and incredibly good looking…

Hugh Jackman Sexy

For heaven’s sake look at that 45-year-old body. LOOK AT IT!

Hugh Jackman Sexy Body

Jackman has played the character of ‘Wolverine’ in 7 movies so far, with rumblings of another one coming in the form of a sequel to The Wolverine.

Hugh Jackman Being Sexy

Look at this guy…speed-boating around in the USS Great-Looking. Fine! You win! We’ll try to eat better and work out a little, okay? Is that what you want, Logan?!

Hugh Jackman Sexy Bed

Fun Fact: Jackman wasn’t originally supposed to play Wolverine! Dougray Scott was originally cast as Wolverine, but Mission: Impossible II required two extra months of shooting. Poor Dougray… hooray for everyone else!

Zoe Saldana

Hot off her second stint as Lt. Uhura in “Star Trek: Into Darkness”, here’s a woman who’s bedeviled men on no less than THREE worlds! She’s so hot, even her CG avatar made it to our list one year!

Zoe Saldana Hot

We don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to make a dress out of such flimsy, see-through material, but we’re pretty sure there’s a Nobel Peace Prize coming HER way. Yes, “her” – TWIST!

Zoe Saldana Sexy

“Oh, you like to sunbathe here too? I thought only famous people knew about black and white shallow-focus beach”!

Zoe Saldana Sexy Chair

Sometimes Zoe likes to pretend the floor is made of lava and she can’t touch it. Oh wait, that’s us. She’s a highly paid actress participating in a sexy photo shoot.

Zoe Saldana Hot Trek

This is the look that Spock gets whenever he tries to pull the logic card to get out of doing the dishes.

Fun Fact: According to Box Office Mojo, the 21 movies that Zoe has starred in have made a total of $1,691,352,238. Holy schmokes.

Stephen Amell

We’ll confess, we don’t know a WHOLE lot about this scorching hot vigilante, but a million billboards and teen scream-tweets can’t be wrong!

Stephen Amell Sexy

Notice how the background seems to subtly suggest that in meeting him, you just hit the bullseye? Even his set design is sexy!

Stephen Amell Sexy arrow

“Are you the Arrow? Because you’re making us quiver.” – 50 Greatest Super Hero Pick-Up Lines

Stephen Amell Sexy abs

Living proof that sometimes it’s OKAY to pick at it. Because scars are sexy. Especially when they playfully decorate an 6-pack of steel. Also, how come no one on the CW owns an overhead lamp?

Stephen Amell Sexy interview

 Fun Fact: Amell’s first role was that of “spinning instructor” in Queer as Folk along side fellow Armchair Hottie Charlie Hunnam!

Tatiana Maslany

Is it true that pure talent can make someone attractive? Well it doesn’t hurt if they are already a hottie! Orphan Black’s Tatiana Maslany has our attention this year…

Tatiana Maslany Hot

No matter where in the world she is, this hottie’s hair always points toward her home country of Canada. OR, there’s a fan 3 feet away. But really, which explanation represents a world you’d rather live in?

Tatiana Maslany Sexy Dreads

Our personal favorite of all the personas Tatiana portrays in “Orphan Black.” The perfect balance of nerd girl and nu-wave bohemian.

Tatiana Maslany Clones

One Tatiana not enough? Try the hot, new variety pack! Seriously, you should be watching this show. There is NO overlap between these characters! It’s insane!

Fun Fact: Tatiana did comedic improv for 10 years and participated in the Canadian Improv Games.

Dwayne Johnson (The Rock)

That build. That smile. That career! From his sizzling debut as the most electrifying personality in sports entertainment (his words) to lending star power to reinvigorate BOTH the Fast & the Furious and G.I.Joe franchises, this guy’s had a hugely meteoric rise in Hollywood. No wonder they call him The Rock. Also, he told them to.


We would argue that no one else could make a onesie look this appealing.


Here’s The Rock’s teeth, going head-to-head with the sun for the heavyweight title of “brightest thing in the galaxy.” I think we have a winner…!


Here he is just daring us to make a joke about how it looks like he’s trying to sneak onto a Fresh Prince music video set. But we chicken out just like he knew we would.


You want a zero-percent crime rate? Hire guys that look like this as law enforcement. You think a bat suit strikes fear into the hearts of criminals? Wrong. All you need is an Underarmour gym shirt and a dude to fill it out.

Fun Fact: The Rock’s $5.5-million paycheck for The Scorpion King in 2002 earned him a listing in the Guinness Book of World Records, as his salary was the highest for any actor receiving top billing for the first time.

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